While you sleep

I have never been a good sleeper
Not like you
You sleep so beautifully
A quiet descent,
With just enough gentle movement
Like the rise and fall of your chest
And the occasional shift or stir
So I know you are still here
With me.

When I wake, as I often do
At the end of the witching hour
And slumber does not return
While the deep grey of night
Slowly returns to watery colour
I watch you
For a little while
Your face so peaceful
Your jaw relaxed, your cheeks soft
Your eyes closed, but not too tightly
All daytime demands forgotten
Irrelevant. Surrendered.

I envy you this blissful nothingness
While being glad you have it
Grateful, even
As I know you have suffered,
Just from being conscious
Just because you are you
And always have been
In a world that often did not understand
Either of us.

I lean against you
Perhaps an arm brushes, or a leg touches
Or my fingers reach for you
Finding warmth and comfort
I align my breathing with yours
Slow inhale, soft exhale, pause
Until finally,
I drift
Losing myself at last
I feel it pulling me down
Into the deep place
That you never left.

---

💜

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